i always find edie to be a comfort. she channels the exact extravagant lifestyle that i lead my day to day life with...and she does it with style, charm and grace. so beautiful. the eclectic blogger goes full circle as he posts yet another photo of edie. unhealthily obsessed.
"i think its good to get outside of your experiences. i can't stand people who take themselves too seriously." -edie sedgwick
as i re-enter the world of theatrics and academia, i believe myself as i tell my colleagues that i feel like a different person. as prior blog posts will share and anyone who saw me through the progression of the first portion of second semester, it is not far fetched that i felt like i was drowning in this world that i have placed myself into. going home, sleeping, eating and just living proved to be the missing puzzle piece in my life.
i just LIVED this break: slept, ate, shopped, sang, drank, loved, laughed, cried, worried, cleansed, analyzed. and ultimately made myself regain contact with myself and the world, drove, observed. i chopped my hair off. i saw people. i saw theater. it was fantastic.
i return with a regained work ethic and a new found zest for life, that existed prior and i spent many depressive weeks searching for. the stress, of course, will return in the chaos that has become my collegiate life, but i will remind myself of how to channel the energy and apply myself.
i found a song called "If Love Were All" over break. it is a heartbreakingly beautiful song by Noel Coward. he was an openly gay man in the height of his career (20s-30s) and i find this song to be so poignant and something that i will sing throughout the rest of my career. it was a sort of 'love at first hear' revelation. waltzed into my monday lesson with andrew and slapped that song down. "i have it almost memorized," I said. "i want to sing it for you and add it to my repertoire (also..he's now taken to calling me 'dear', which i find completely adorable). he told me that he loved that song, and we proceeded to gush about the song and the new bounds we're making in lessons. needless to say, its in my rep now....but we need to find me 'some upbeat songs, dear'.
anyway, on that note...i look bad and see my bipolar eclectic-ness in its full force, as none of what i have just written strings together. not even a little bit.
just spoke for the first time in my 9:30 for like weeks. see what i'm telling you kiddos. this is growth.
life is beautiful. take each day as it comes. and embrace each day. no more time to be depressed. get out and absorb that vitamin d.
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