i have found the new center of my life. she is fucking fantastic.
i was walking to yoga yesterday, had just had a bite to eat and "I Am The One" from the Next to Normal soundtrack came up on my iPod. while listening to the heavy and high energy beats of the each song in Next to Normal it is easy to fall in love with it, but to me it is the text that is truly gripping. as i walked and listened to Diane scream "You don't know!" to her husband, i almost began to cry. although her life bears much more burden than mine, i shared in her pain of misunderstanding and confusion, and i found myself connecting with a show in a way that i haven't in a long time.
besides emotionally evoking, i find Alice Ripley and my new little obsession with Next to Normal, inspiring more than anything. its so easy in this world to feel small and like you'll never get anywhere. but when i find a new show or see a stroke of genius in a performer, i become inspired and my drive to do well is thrown into motion. in this week where i'm finding it difficult to stay focused and my nerves are overtaking for the first mass audition of my life, i'm hoping and thinking that my drive will kick in as a result of this new inspiration in my life.
i am the only one holding myself back from doing well. if i allow myself to be ready and attack, i will. its in my nature. i know i'm capable of doing well...its just whether or not i allow myself.
alice, you're an inspiration. thank you. i needed it right now.
