[dont worry kiddos. my edie obsession remains alive and well. i thought this was one of those priceless photographs that you happen to stumble upon from time to time...what do you think?]
well...
its been a while, staunch characters. i figured for my rapidly changing life, a new un-tainted blog would suffice. its just like a diary. new pages of my life to write about. a clean slate.
its been a beautifully stressful past couple of months and i have been learning more than i will ever be able to type. i left for my current home in the Moines (Des Moines) in August. i am astounded that i sit here writing on November 19th and that three months have gone by. it seems like just yesterday my friends and i arrived to dance in the ballroom of our hall, worry about what a movement piece was, and freak about whether or not we would even get called back for the musical. its been a whirlwind, to say the least. people have come in and out of my life, i have gained and lost friends. ultimately now, i'm in a phase of taking in and accessing what i've done, both prior to this and now, and attempting to move forward and progress as much as possible.
Drake has been so nurturing. i daily stand behind my decision to come here. i have met some immensely talented artists and learn something new everyday. its a misconception that Des Moines holds nothing but corn, because its a haven for trendy, talented young people...and although i do find myself longing for my familiar Twin Cities, i so embrace being in this new place and being able to learn its ins and outs. that being said, i have my irritations with my new haven. i have quite often found myself questioning why my expensive school has found itself in the middle of the suburban Des Moines ghetto and is resistant to do anything about the unsafe goings ons. i hear sirens on the daily, we have lost 3 students since arriving to school...and no students should have to feel unsafe walking at night. all this being said, these are minor irritations for a school that i spend most of my life praising.
a few key stories from my blog negligent (sorry linnea) months:
about a month back, my friends and i had the opportunity to see our professors work at a local theater in Des Moines, which by the way is a MAJORLY underrated theater city. anyway, i had been feeling down and needed a little reminder of why im doing what i am with my life. the show was The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee...and to give you a little background: i did not follow this show when it opened originally (going through my whole..."i'll embrace shows on my own time and own terms" kick) and knew nothing about it. i went in knowing that the characters were children at a spelling bee, and told my friends (and professor) that i honestly wasn't expecting to be moved by this show. i left the theater that night having rediscovered my calling and feeling the way that you are supposed to feel after seeing a phenomenal piece of theater. i just floated home. the acting was spot on, the jokes had been updated to our current political/socio-economic situations (in addition to a good gay joke, which i DO enjoy from time to time), and the story was just so touching. i found myself connecting with each of the characters and made sure after i had left, that i made sure everyone went to see it and that my professors knew what phenomenal work they had done.
i have quite often found myself, since arrive here, feeling down and questioning my ability to do theater (as well as questioning myself). for a person who has always been very secure in himself and his known abilities....this period of, frankly, grey area...has been really confusing and emotional. i have done a lot of soul searching, talking, listening, drinking (coffee, mainly), buying....and have ultimately come to the conclusion (through multiple conversations and thoughts) that i need to adapt to being the "big fish in the ocean, not the small pond". i can't expect to be perfect in an environment where i don't know exactly how to do whats "perfect". and in acting there is never a "perfect". my work ethic has been very freshman year...and i know now how to ATTACK, which i wish i would not have been so hesitant to do at the opening of the semester.
i re-found yoga in my life, now that my schedule allows. i missed it. maybe it will help me shed some of those freshman pounds. its beginning to help me find my center as an actor (...and a human being) again. i need that now more than ever. isn't it great how the world works that way...having things aptly enter at just the right moment.
ps > i like live at the mars cafe. its a trendy little place in the non-sketch part of the neighborhood where Drake is in the Moines. i sit tonight listening to some very talented Drake students do a set, as i blog and sip my coffee. its always been a little dream of mine to have a set at a coffee shop...and as my friend, the talented Ms. Emily Draffen said to me in a time of disarray: "the world has a way of making things work out for you. if you work hard enough, it will happen."
words to live by, kids. especially right now.
had coffee with one of my old high school pals, the very talented Morgann Gould today. it was great to catch up with her and to see that we are both thinking of each other though we're both in really different places in our lives. i am so proud of her and see so many good things in the future for her. its so fun to go from being yoga, singing, and just day to day high school friends...to seeing where people are going. we are fully aware of each others shit and its so good to see her doing well and handling all the cards that life has dealt her.
